The Practice of Solitude

The first time I ever played solitaire (with real cards) I thought it was an odd game to play. Why? Every card game was, in my mind, meant to be played with someone else. Now as an adult I have played hundreds of games of solitaire (not with real cards).

The practice of solitude may at first sound strange to you because we have been taught that life is meant to be experienced with others. We play ball on teams, we cheer on squads, and we live in communities. To tell you the truth I have almost convinced myself I don’t need solitude. And that is what the devil wants us to believe.

Before we go any further, what is solitude? Just like solitaire…you “play” life by yourself for a short span of time. (At this point, the moms of preschoolers are planning on dropping their kids off at my office. They are thinking, “he makes it sound so easy!”) There is no set amount of time. There are very few “rules” to it. However it does take some planning…especially for you single parents.

Another question to ask is why is it important? Busyness and hurry are like a drug. We have people who are addicted to their “to do” list and their “tasks.” We have surrounded ourselves with instant communication. We are constantly being pushed and shaped and molded by the pressure of what needs to be done and who needs it done. When we finally stop, we try to go into neutral by watching TV, surfing the internet, listening to music or reading a novel.

Solitude removes us from all of the normal day to day pressures. Henri Nouwen wrote, “In solitude I get rid of all my scaffolding.” What do you use to prop yourself up or tell you that you are important? In solitude we allow the Holy Spirit to bring to mind questions, doubts and fears we may never address otherwise. As I sit here I could name two issues that I need to sort through. What about you?

In order to do this we need to escape the busyness of life. Kierkegaard wrote, “The press of busyness is like a charm. Its power swells…it reaches out seeking always to lay hold of ever younger victims so that the childhood or youth are scarcely allowed the quiet and the retirement in which the Eternal may unfold a divine growth.” There are times we just need to stop in order for God to speak and bring new growth into our lives.

Let me encourage you to experience solitude on two levels. One level takes place in the morning (or evening) when no one else is awake. Pull away to a quiet comfortable spot and just begin the time with a prayer similar to this: “Lord I surrender this moment to you and invite your Holy Spirit to lead my thoughts and speak to me.” At that point take a few moments and just concentrate on His presence. Realize he is there and he loves you. Read your daily reading and just allow the scriptures and the Spirit to direct your thoughts. And again, focus on His presence.

The second way to experience solitude takes a little more planning. It could be done for two hours, half day or and entire eight hour period. The format could look like the following and be adapted to meet your allotted amount of time. (The following is adapted from John Ortberg’s The Life You’ve Always Wanted and Glandon Carney’s book The Spiritual Formation Toolkit.)

1. Find a place where you can be uninterrupted and alone such as a park or a retreat center.
2. Spend a brief time the night before to get ready. Ask God to bless the day and to tell Him you want to devote the time to Him. Think about what you need from the Lord: a sense of healing or forgiveness? Conviction for an apathetic heart? Compassion? A renewed sense of mission? Ask Him for this.
3. Arrange the day around listening to God.

8:00-9:00: Prepare your heart and mind, take a walk or do whatever will help you set aside concerns over tasks and responsibilities. Try to plan on remaining in silence through the day.

9:00-11:00: Read and meditate on scripture, taking time to stop and reflect when God seems to be speaking to you through the text.

11:00-12:00: Write down response to what you have read. Speak to God about them.

12:00-1:00: Eat lunch and take a walk reflecting on the morning.

1:00-2:00: Take a nap.

2:00-3:00: Set goals that emerge from the day’s reflection.

3:00-4:00: Write down these goals and other thoughts in a journal. Prepare to reenter society.

All of the above may need to be adapted but you must have a time of prayer, scripture and a time for reflection. I truly believe that many of us would be much more healthy emotionally and spiritually if we did the above on some level.

Take time over the next week or so and practice solitude. The truth is you will not be alone. You will be with your Father.

I pray this is beneficial as you walk and grow in the Righteous One.
Love you guys,
Scott